Alright, I'm trying this again.
The blogging world has been taunting me since I got to China & as much as I want to be one of those hip people with a blog (sometimes), I really get overwhelmed by the process of creating a blog baby & knowing that it's a commitment of sorts to keep up with.
People back home ask me what my life is like in China & I want to tell them everything and nothing at the same time because, let's face it, most of the time, there's just too much. Too many moments that I don't always want to experience again, or would love to explain but no amount of words would explain the experience adequately. So, as much as I'd like to say this blog is for you, it's not. It's for me. It's a way for me to be honest with myself, dipping into my subconscious -- but also a way to give you a little peak into life in this new country. Alright, yes, it's not as new as it was 11 months ago when I moved here (!!!!) but it's still different. It still has it's slew of trials & challenges.
I want to write more. That's a big part of why I'm here too. I will try my hardest to be transparent & real with my experiences. It's easy to fluff things up for the enjoyment of others. I understand people read blogs for two reasons, to be informed of something or to be entertained. I am not looking to entertain. I wrote my first "blog" post when I was back in Shanghai during the 3 week stint that I was there before we relocated to Chongqing, which is where I currently live. The post was full of melodramatic nonsense & things that, reading now, make me cringe. I was seeking the response I would get from people.. "no way, you live THERE!?"... yes. I live in China. It's hard but not as hard as many other people's living situations are.
The blogging world has been taunting me since I got to China & as much as I want to be one of those hip people with a blog (sometimes), I really get overwhelmed by the process of creating a blog baby & knowing that it's a commitment of sorts to keep up with.
People back home ask me what my life is like in China & I want to tell them everything and nothing at the same time because, let's face it, most of the time, there's just too much. Too many moments that I don't always want to experience again, or would love to explain but no amount of words would explain the experience adequately. So, as much as I'd like to say this blog is for you, it's not. It's for me. It's a way for me to be honest with myself, dipping into my subconscious -- but also a way to give you a little peak into life in this new country. Alright, yes, it's not as new as it was 11 months ago when I moved here (!!!!) but it's still different. It still has it's slew of trials & challenges.
I want to write more. That's a big part of why I'm here too. I will try my hardest to be transparent & real with my experiences. It's easy to fluff things up for the enjoyment of others. I understand people read blogs for two reasons, to be informed of something or to be entertained. I am not looking to entertain. I wrote my first "blog" post when I was back in Shanghai during the 3 week stint that I was there before we relocated to Chongqing, which is where I currently live. The post was full of melodramatic nonsense & things that, reading now, make me cringe. I was seeking the response I would get from people.. "no way, you live THERE!?"... yes. I live in China. It's hard but not as hard as many other people's living situations are.
My husband, Jeremy, likes to tell me that you make your own happiness. Something I am trying to wrap my mind around. That means that whether I am in Norfolk, Virginia, Washington DC, Kenya or China -- I am fully equipped to look beyond what may trouble me & create a new happiness. Will it always be easy? No. Life is hard, people. I'm not immune to stuff that sucks. I miss many things from home. I miss chipotle guacamole & riding my bike early in the morning. I miss coffee shops on every corner & the ability to drive 30 mins to see the ocean. But, that doesn't mean those are the ONLY things that equate to happiness.My mind had a plan set for my life beyond high school. Did anything in that plan go the way I had envisioned? No. Not a single thing. & that's ok. I am going to tell you that this is a journey to find happiness whereever I am & not always dream of the bigger & better. Life is made up of these small moments. We spend too much time yearning for the next big thing. Life happens in those moments of in between.
So, this is where I am. These are my thoughts & experiences. I encourage all of you to seek happiness in your own lives, whether you've actually "made it" according to what your brain tells you equates to "success." Making an effort to work outside of your mental boundaries. I didn't choose the place that I am in & that's ok too.
I hope you get a bigger picture of my life here & I appreciate all of you for supporting me & Jer on this journey.
b e t h e c h a n g e,
Dani
Love you, boo thang.
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