happiness

I need to make my own happiness a priority.

in this time more than any other,

I need to find a tangible emersion of golden light.

I need to create a space that feels good to dwell in.

To wrap myself up in this place &

feel the goodness seep into my every pore.

I need to make my own happiness an every day pursuit.

The clouds, they hang low & heavy

but I refuse to let them in

clouding my mind;

my thoughts, a grey fog

bringing me to a place of sadness & dread.

I need to make my own happiness happen.

In the moments where I find nothing worth smiling about.

In the seconds that I find myself stare off into space.

Feeling alone, restless

discontent

frustrated.

those moments are the embers to the flame.

I can build a fire.

I need to make my own happiness real.

Not a figment of my mind.

Not a whisper of a thought.

A reality.

A truth that I can drench my soul in.

Happiness can be real.

It is a choice.

It is a struggle.

It is within my grasp.

It is a lot of things.

But it is not impossible.

It is not looking for a new home.

It is not picky or selfish.

It is here.

It is now.

I need to make happiness.

my own.