november

hong kong at dusk.

STARTING || all the projects I've been thinking up recently.

FINISHING || all the laundry from two weeks of not being home. 

MAKING || plans to get coffee with new friends.

CRAVING || more time with AJ, the time they were here went too fast. #ohchina

READING || Goop's BE column & I finally got on the skimm train.

WATCHING || the light fade from my windows, much earlier. I think I'm just going to pretend I live in London, where the clouds are also normal.

LISTENING TO || Saint Cava.

WEARING || tennis shoes that were too small in the summer (ha, my feet are weird.)

EATING || home cooked goodness after two weeks of crazy [good] eats in various cities. 

DRINKING  || coffee with HOMEMADE PUMPKIN SPICE SYRUP IN IT. *fistpump* Also, thanks mom for sending all those spices I needed, you's aaaaaamazing.

LEARNING || to find more joy in the every day.

PRACTICING || getting back into a post vacation routine.

WORKING || a bit more than last month, hollah for that.

PLAYING || catch up on all the blog post drafts I have waiting for completion.

TRAVELING || nowhere. A staycation is planned for this weekend & I could NOT be more excited for it.

WANTING || another trip back home. A year is too long.

PLANNING || to find a bike for the husband (hopefully) this weekend & a well overdue wine night with the new bestie next week.

HOPING || that by this time next month, I have an oven again.

I really am working on the practice of gratitude for all the sweet things I've been up to lately - and the ability my husband and I have to take trips, and go exploring & stay in sweet air bnb's & make plans to go somewhere new every few months.

when you're in the throes of living in a place that isn't "home," you can forget that there are still so many moments to soak in and be happy for. Maybe not every moment is easy and I find myself dwelling in negative thoughts way more than anyone should - but I feel like China is wearing on me in different ways than it used to & that's just straight up hard.

I think I put on this brave face & push through the day, trying to make it "count" according to my weird mental status of things that matter, but it still get's to me sometimes. Especially after spending time with people from home & having an awesome time and then having to return to normal life in China.

I miss target, and chipotle & drinking pumpkin beer. I miss bright orange & red leaves, and trader joes & the smell of the ocean. I miss Ghent,  and stockley garden art festivals. Finding shoes in my size & soft, pillow-topped mattresses. 

Life throws curve balls. I should feel grateful for all the things I got to do in October, and the places I got to see. But, now that it's over, I feel a little sadder & a greater longing for the home I remember.

So lemme go make another PSL and eat some of that sea salt dark chocolate someone threw into Amy's suitcase.

I am grateful for today.

November, you are here. & I am here. Let's embrace like lovers cause you are potential & I refuse to be anything less than grateful.

august

No filter image of downtown Chongqing. Yes, those are crystal clear blue skies. 

STARTING || the last full week of living in the same apartment as Jeremy until September. Prepare for blog post overload.

FINISHING || cleaning out the closets. Goodbye shoes.

MAKING || this month count, down to the last day. 

CRAVING || slower days. 

READING || the girl on the train, by Paula Hawkins

WATCHING || mostly suits, with an occasional elementary thrown in the mix.

LISTENING TO || IAMBEAR & Odesza

WEARING || moisture wicking everything. The world is a sauna.

EATING || Baked peaches & coffee dark chocolate (found on mega sale!! #winning.) 

DRINKING  || coconut water.

LEARNING || to shake anxieties.

PRACTICING || my splits. One day, you will be mine.

WORKING || on yoga playlists & the best way to keep the dust bunnies from multiplying as I pack. 

PLAYING || "how much work can I squeeze into my day before I leave Chongqing?" 

TRAVELING || to Chengdu, many many times. I will be a train traveling pro by the time this is over.

WANTING || less. Moving makes you realize how little you actually need.

PLANNING || how we'll decorate the new place. 

HOPING || for this month to be seamless & as stress-free as moving to another city in China can be.

"Whirlwinds, galore! Moving is crazy! Why did I buy this? How am I going to pack this? Can it be September now?"

All spoken, all more than once. 

August, may your craziness remind me that I have a life that is crazy good & to be thankful for it.

A moment - on the metro

Swarms of faded shoes & knock offs.

Open toed sandals & cropped pants.

I am lost in a book. A world I have escaped to.

I peek over the edge of the words from time to time.

I see the crowd of people, they come and they go.

Footprints marking steel grey floors.

The heat of the day coming to rest on the covering of skin, close to my own.

Shifting bodies - movement as we are jostled on this subway car.

Strangers among strangers.

I am transported between this in between space and this different reality.

Time is shifting in both places. I am feeling it like two trains, passing each other at high speeds.

Crossing lines between real & unreal.

Blurring lights, chatter & millions of tiny conversations.

Echoing through cell phones & whispered into ears.

Our heads are all close together, as if by some transferring paper, we are translating to each other without words.

I can hear distant music coming though my headphones. It is hushed, as if it knows that the world has so much to say. It doesn't overpower or try to conceal.

I feel the heaviness of the words that are escaping lips & fingers. So many stories, emerging messages all around me.

A masking of reality. Like a novel on a train.

Blurring lights passing in the dark.

july

sunset from south mountain, chongqing

STARTING || the daunting task of packing up all our belongings in preparation for our next move. (!!!!)

FINISHING || up a season in this crazy city.

MAKING || cold-brewed iced coffees 

CRAVING || a trip out of this country. I can't believe I haven't stepped foot outside of China for almost a year. (what.)

READING || this blog, and this blog. 

WATCHING || hahahaha, new girl reruns. Also, true detective but I'm not really that impressed with it yet.

LISTENING TO || tep no & ta-ku

WEARING || the lightest material clothing I can get my hands on. #3showersaday

EATING || LYCHEE. Obsessed. 

DRINKING  || grapefruit juice & soda water. 

LEARNING || to find beauty in the small moments.

PRACTICING || stretches to go with my earlier morning wake ups.

WORKING || on the mental prep that will be needed for restarting in a whole new city.  

PLAYING || constant catch-up with life these past few weeks. I feel like everything is moving in a constant blur.

TRAVELING || to Chengdu, our soon to be city, to scope out apartments & the like.

WANTING || an entire day with absolutely nothing on the agenda.

PLANNING || all the things I'm gonna do with all the free time I'll have come September. 

HOPING || for some exploration & adventures this month. A change of scenery would be good for my soul.

Sorry for the late post, it's been a crazy month. All the kids are out of school here which equates to ALL THE ENGLISH TUTORING. Super fun times. Super busy fun times. So, hopefully things start to slow down soon so I can, you know, move. I hope July is finding you happy, and healthy & with a little bit more of a tan than I currently have. 

July, you are a beautiful reminder to find stillness & enjoy the sunrises.

lately

homework vs blog reading at starbucks | morning coffee | weekend brunch (the best.) 

gardenias (that sadly = a massive sneeze fest) | fried eggs & spinach | street fruit sellers

my chongqing bestie who just moved to melbourne | waiting for the metro | pancakes & peaches

the perfect white summer dress (high five, zara) | flowers in alleyways | lunch break solitude

I'm trying to blog more, I really am.

I feel like I have a lot of different directions I want this blog to take, but for now - enjoy the snapshots from my phone while I try to sort out the real reason I am here.

28 things.

1. I woke up this morning in a king sized hotel bed in Shanghai.

2. My husband has a tendency to wish me a happy birthday about 20 times before we've even eaten breakfast. & I LOVE it so much that he does that.

3. Jeremy & I have a tradition of making each other really elaborate brunch's for each other's birthdays. This is the first year I can remember that we weren't able to.

4. I had an amazing donut from Baker & Spice for second breakfast (it may even have been elevensies...)

5. If I had my choice I would choose warm donuts over cake.

6. Carvel ice-cream cake was my favorite cake flavor until I realized you could just have donuts for your birthday instead. (or both.)

7. My dear husband took me to the only lululemon in all of China to get me my first ever legit yoga mat (that won't disintegrate into a million pieces after each use.)

8. Also, LLL is crazy stupid expensive. Over $100 USD for a pair of yoga pants? Cray.

9. I got to have a little taste of my favorite fast food from home at Mex & Co, one of the only chipotle-esque burrito bars in Shanghai. 

10. Fact: I think that if I could eat only one food for the rest of my life, it would be chipotle burritos.

11. For my thirteenth birthday I had a sleepover party & my mom made a cake that looked like girls sleeping in sleeping bags. It was one of the most memorable cakes I ever had.

12. I refuse to check my facebook until the day after my birthday, so I get hit with a wall of happy messages all at once.

13. I hate telling people what sort of gift I want. I would rather just be given something that is meaningful & a total surprise.

14. When I was little, I wanted to celebrate my birthday in the summer because February rarely had nice warm days for outdoor parties.

15. I had a riveting conversation with Jeremy about the time of year I want our kids to be born - and the vote is anything but Winter. (see 14.)

16. I've never had a surprise party but it's something I've always wanted.

17. I ate the most insane cheeseburger with all the things imaginable topped on it for birthday dinner with Jer's parents - and it was heaven.

18. Also, red velvet cupcake.

19. The lead singer of my favorite high school band, Mae, has the same birthday as me.

20. One of my favorite birthday memories was spending my 21st in NYC (my first time ever being there,) with two of my best friends. We went to at least 5 different places that night & it was an amazing time.

21. One year, one of my friends surprised me by decorating the front door of my apartment & leaving a giant cupcake for me to find after a night at school.

22. I have successfully taken every birthday off from work for as long as I can remember. I had to go to a very full day of school on my birthday two years ago & I wanted nothing more than to skip, but because I had perfect attendance in all my classes up to that point, I chose to go. (perfectionist, much?)

23. I don't like to open my presents until the very end of the day - I enjoy the anticipation.

24. For my tenth birthday I got a purple ten-speed mountain bike and I didn't know I could get any happier than the moment I first rode it around my block.

25. I don't like happy birthday being sung to me. I feel awkward the entire time & can't wait for it to be over. 

26. Although, when I was little, I would sing the Happy Birthday song to myself, but I called myself "Danulls."

27. The only person outside my immediate family that I would call every year on their birthday (before moving to China) was my childhood friend, Justin.

28. The perfect ending to a birthday? Curling up on the couch to watch House of Cards season 3.

28. here's to you.