december

four sisters mountains in western sichuan

STARTING || to mentally prepare to begin another year. January comes and I usually feel disconnected through much of it. I'd like to prevent this this time.

FINISHING || the last of Banksy's shots so that he can go outside & meet new puppies & go for walks & just generally not be cooped up in the tiny apt all the time.

MAKING || pickled veggies for the first time ever.

CRAVING || mulled wine.

READING || the martian by Andy Weir

WATCHING || allllll the christmas movies.
LISTENING TO || this lady's sweet Christmas playlist(s).

WEARING || new slippers from uniqlo & my down vest.

EATING || whatever home baked goods I can get my hands on (mostly from other people because home girl is STILL without an oven.)

DRINKING  || night: chamomile tea. morning: BREWED COFFEE FROM OUR NEW COFFEE MAKER. Can I just say that I can't believe we didn't do this sooner? Two year of french pressing is far too long. #sosmooth #sotasty

LEARNING || how to make home made bone broth in response to a crazy bout of antibiotics that I'm currently on. Triple womp.

PRACTICING || letting go of things that no longer serve me.

WORKING || on not projecting my stresses. Deep breaths make it so much better.

PLAYING || fetch with Banksy in the hallway in our building, it's literally the most adorable thing ever that he's always understood the concept.

TRAVELING || to taiwaaaaaan. The beach, some mountains, a coastal bike trip & many jaunts around sweet neighborhoods are on the agenda.

WANTING || to feel better, physically. the cold feels like it's seeping into my bones already. Chengdu don't play no games with them wet winters.

PLANNING || a time when I'm back on the busy train. For now, gratitude for slower days = more time to be still and intentional with my actions instead of rushing 24/7.  

HOPING || for a much more exciting NYE this time around in China. Year 1 was good, year 2, not so much. Maybe it's about the odd years(?) But hey, no expectations.

December has been kind of a weird month so far. Jeremy and I got a puppy right after Thanksgiving. Something that we didn't think we would do until we returned to the US. (SO glad we didn't wait.) A Banksy post is in the works...

We bought another IKEA christmas tree, i lost a job, (China makes no sense sometimes,) made some new friends and  traveled to some gorgeous mountains (a post for that is in the works, as well.) 

Had many a moment where I felt like all of this was too much. That life can feel so out of control and heavy. I've learned that gratitude practice is a real thing. It's a real, tangible thing you can put on paper. That projecting happiness can help you to actually feel happier. That dogs are easily one of the best things in this world. That health should be celebrated every single day. That the leaves changing colors outside, although late in my mind, are still beautiful & a sign of something ending- only to start again anew.

December, you are cold foggy breaths, puppy kisses & white twinkle lights. You are reminders of life, that each day is a gift & that good things are all around me., always.

merry christmas, dear readers. may 2016 bring you much joy & happiness.

november

hong kong at dusk.

STARTING || all the projects I've been thinking up recently.

FINISHING || all the laundry from two weeks of not being home. 

MAKING || plans to get coffee with new friends.

CRAVING || more time with AJ, the time they were here went too fast. #ohchina

READING || Goop's BE column & I finally got on the skimm train.

WATCHING || the light fade from my windows, much earlier. I think I'm just going to pretend I live in London, where the clouds are also normal.

LISTENING TO || Saint Cava.

WEARING || tennis shoes that were too small in the summer (ha, my feet are weird.)

EATING || home cooked goodness after two weeks of crazy [good] eats in various cities. 

DRINKING  || coffee with HOMEMADE PUMPKIN SPICE SYRUP IN IT. *fistpump* Also, thanks mom for sending all those spices I needed, you's aaaaaamazing.

LEARNING || to find more joy in the every day.

PRACTICING || getting back into a post vacation routine.

WORKING || a bit more than last month, hollah for that.

PLAYING || catch up on all the blog post drafts I have waiting for completion.

TRAVELING || nowhere. A staycation is planned for this weekend & I could NOT be more excited for it.

WANTING || another trip back home. A year is too long.

PLANNING || to find a bike for the husband (hopefully) this weekend & a well overdue wine night with the new bestie next week.

HOPING || that by this time next month, I have an oven again.

I really am working on the practice of gratitude for all the sweet things I've been up to lately - and the ability my husband and I have to take trips, and go exploring & stay in sweet air bnb's & make plans to go somewhere new every few months.

when you're in the throes of living in a place that isn't "home," you can forget that there are still so many moments to soak in and be happy for. Maybe not every moment is easy and I find myself dwelling in negative thoughts way more than anyone should - but I feel like China is wearing on me in different ways than it used to & that's just straight up hard.

I think I put on this brave face & push through the day, trying to make it "count" according to my weird mental status of things that matter, but it still get's to me sometimes. Especially after spending time with people from home & having an awesome time and then having to return to normal life in China.

I miss target, and chipotle & drinking pumpkin beer. I miss bright orange & red leaves, and trader joes & the smell of the ocean. I miss Ghent,  and stockley garden art festivals. Finding shoes in my size & soft, pillow-topped mattresses. 

Life throws curve balls. I should feel grateful for all the things I got to do in October, and the places I got to see. But, now that it's over, I feel a little sadder & a greater longing for the home I remember.

So lemme go make another PSL and eat some of that sea salt dark chocolate someone threw into Amy's suitcase.

I am grateful for today.

November, you are here. & I am here. Let's embrace like lovers cause you are potential & I refuse to be anything less than grateful.

on gratitude

                   

I've had so much happen over this past year to be grateful for. So many moments where I felt every pore in my body beaming, where I felt nothing more than overflowing thankfulness. I've seen so many new places, travelled to the other side of the world, saw people get married, saw new babies and babies who are growing up, (so quickly, I might add.) I saw people who are making new lives for themselves. I saw two different oceans. I did yoga on the sands of Hong Kong and Virginia Beach. I've been blessed with a husband who continually thanks me for the little things I do, who brings me my cup of coffee in the morning. Who whispers "I love you" before we fall asleep, every night, without fail.

Even with all those little moments, I still struggle with gratitude. I find myself coming back to a place where I don't really feel much of anything about a lot of things. I become complacent. I get used to the little things that make my life better & easier. 

We all get wrapped up in "feelings of thanks" around this time of year, or at least make some sort of effort to because it's expected. But what does that actually look like? Does that simply mean saying thank you to everyone seated beside you at thanksgiving dinner? Does it equate to making an instagram post about the ten things you're most grateful for this year?

I don't know. I feel a wave of reality hit me when I see those things. I really wonder if we didn't have a holiday that is centered around the giving of thanks, if we would even stop for a moment to do just that. 

It's so easy to become complacent. It's so easy to just accept the normalcy of life in it's good givings. But how do we really take those good things into our life with a true spirit of gratitude?

These are thoughts that I've been mulling over for the past few weeks. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that people are making the time to say thank you to their friends & family, or writing the facebook statuses, etc. I think I just wonder what would happen if we didn't have a holiday to center our thanks around. 

I think what I'm trying to get at is that thanksgiving should be a practice we all implement into our daily lives - not just once a year. Yes, yes. A topic that has probably been typed out a million times over the vast expanse of blogs the world over. 

My question is, How are you going to become more grateful in your life?

What will you actually do (implying action,) to express your thankfulness?

Maybe avoid complaining about the bad stuff to other people.

Maybe leaving little thank you notes on the bathroom mirror or the kitchen counter to your partner for the extra work they put in to make things good for the both of you.

Maybe it's doing something nice & not expected for someone who consistently does nice things for you. (my biggest thing right now.)

Maybe it's praying to God more just to say thanks for all the good He has given you.

Maybe it's really soaking in the moments that get overlooked - the sky changing colors as the sun fades, or the smell of the crisp autumn air. 

Maybe it's scooping up your baby & showering them with kisses. 

Maybe it's giving an unexpected shoulder massage or washing the dishes when it's not "your turn."

I'm really trying to be aware of what a grateful heart looks like & how I can express that outwardly.

It's easy to say thank you. 

it's harder to show it.

I challenge you to take this week to do one "act of gratitude" a day - write an email, make someone a playlist of the best Christmas music ever. Make someone a homemade treat. Take time out of your overflowing schedule to treat a friend for coffee & tell them how much you appreciate their friendship. Genuinely LISTEN to someone else without your own agenda. Anything. People need more good vibes in their lives, especially around this time of year. Share the goodness.

// be the change.